I know blogs are used for many purposes... some people think their opinions are so important or vital that the whole world should know, some want to complain or say nasty things about others from behind the seemingly sterile, anonymous safety of a computer screen, some share interesting anecdotes or recipes or other things they find incredibly interesting about their lives. I, on the other hand, don't find my life so interesting. On the surface, sure - I moved from my small-minded southern town to the excitement and bustle of the Big Apple, then to one of the most romantic, culture capitals in the world - lets call it the Big Baguette. Those are just details. To outsiders I seem like an exciting adventurer. In truth, I am just running scared. I fake this grandiose life, but in truth I feel small and insignificant. I pretend to be cultured and interesting and have an indomitable spirit, but inside I am the least confident, most unhappy and miserable mess. So, I created a blog so I could share that side of me - the side I usually hide from the world - so I could finally get it out in the open and maybe, by pulling out my disgusting innards and laying them out for everyone to see and dissect, I can start to cut out the dark tumors and eventually what goes back in can be as clean and healthy as the image I attempt to project on the outside. If you haven't already guessed, this will not be pretty. It will be dark and ugly and self loathing at times, twisted and knotted possibly beyond repair. I do have hope though. In that "Yes We Can" spirit Americans have had long before it was coined into a campaign phrase, I do think that somehow by sharing this, by maybe finding others who deal with the same, by not feeling so alone and allowing these dark thoughts to fester, just maybe they will shrivel away to more manageable size or even cease to be altogether. So here it goes. I am a blogger. Hello World, this is my ugliness, can you handle it?